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Belgrade - Smokin' in Serbia - PUA Spots

Belgrade - Smokin' in Serbia

By Jonathan Roseland  Connect    

The city is a nice change of pace from the dreary capitals of Eastern Europe where I've been spending time. The center of city is quiet clean and scenic with the beautiful Sava river, wide pedestrian streets and elegant orthodox churches.

The Women

When I lived in South America, other digital nomads would tell me that two cities in the world had the most beautiful women; Medellín, Colombia and Belgrade. Well, yet again Medellín has set my standards so high that other cities fail to measure up. There are some very beautiful Serbian women to be found in swanky clubs, bars and the cosmopolitan shopping district downtown, but the stereotypical knockout, big boobed Serbian beauty is not so common. Young Serbian women are on average skinny and doll faced, booty is a little more prevalent here, but if you are really into curvy women you'll need to head to more further south latitudes.

The City

This hilly grad has a really well developed center; big boulevards lined with trendy shops, cafes and restaurants. I didn't need to use taxis or public transportation much because it's such a walkable city center. For being an aesthetically very cosmopolitan city overflowing with bars and cafes I was somewhat disappointed in the networking scene there; a big part of my game is attending public events and meetups, where it's easy to build a social circle and make friends. There's just a single weekly Couchsurfing meetup that's well attended and a couple of Facebook groups I joined that seemed to put on well attended events. Check out
https://www.facebook.com/groups/bgfvc/
https://www.facebook.com/primera.belgrade/
https://www.facebook.com/timbaocubanosalsa/

Here's the PUA Spots...


Unfortunately, as beautiful as the city and it's women are there's two significant issues that I think disqualify it as lifestyle city that I'd like to spend more than a few weeks in...

The First is the Smoking...

smoking serbia

Serbians REALLY like to smoke, when they wake up, before they go to bed, after lunch, before dinner, while strolling down the street, on their lunch break, with a beer, while driving your taxi, at trendy "healthy" restaurants, while dancing at a disco, before foreplay, after sex - it's pretty fair to assume they just give them to their children as soon as little Serbian babies are capable of lighting one up. In this otherwise nice country they maintain the totally backwards policy of allowing it indoors in 90% of bars, cafes and restaurants.
The first Serbian girl I had an instant date with smoked about 8 cigarettes in 45 minutes while showing me pictures of her cat on her smart phone - yes, it was brutal! The things we do for love...
If you intend to come here and pickup Serbian chicks prepare yourself to swim deeply in the taste and scent of cigarettes, as clouds of second hand smoke will embrace you in nearly every social setting. If you're not cool with that, don't come here.
This really is a major strike against Belgrade because at least for me it totally disqualifies Serbia as a place to meet wife material or long term relationship material, I really can't imagine myself being in a relationship longer than a few nights with an ashtray mouth.
I found this semi-accurate list of none-smoking venues on the Belgrade Facebook group
Cafe Moskva - hotel Moskva
Cafe knjižara Delfi - Resavska
Klub studenata tehnike
Greenet - Nušićeva
Cafe Zmaj, corner Zmajeve and Čika Ljubine, basement
Korto in Nušićeva, bottom floor
Leila records and books in Kralja Petra 41, bottom floor
Lorca organic cafe, bottom floor
Vesele domaćice - Cvetni Trg, a separate room
Košnica/Hive in Mlatišumina
Ušće shopping center
SuperNatural Bar - Gospodar Jevremova 23
Belgrade Art Hotel
Delfi - Trg republike
Apropo knjižara
Small Tree
Greenet - Beograđanka

The Second is Wifi...

In contrast to a lot of the capitals of Eastern Europe the wifi is generally ni dobre (not good) in Belgrade. I visited several trendy coworking spaces that had surprisingly bad wifi. I had to pound cement and search quiet a bit for the minimum 20mb up/20mb down that I require to do my work, I eventually found it at the Snack Bar at Jump Inn Hotel, but I've yet to find a place that qualifies as a real digital nomad friendly cafe with fast wifi, good coffee, a place to stand, decent service, comfy seats and NO smoking.

The Culture

Serbians in general are not very friendly. One way I gage the friendliness of a country is strangers willingness to greet you passing on the street. I figured out that the formula for getting a positive response on the street is to make eye contact when they are about 10 meters away, smile just a little bit and at about 3 meters greet them. They should respond just as you are passing each other.
In North America and certainly in South America if you say good afternoon, good morning or good evening to a perfect stranger passing on the street, they will respond in kind, often in Latin America you will even get into random conversations with people.
Here in Eastern Europe and especially in Serbia this doesn't work though, I make eye contact, greet them in whatever language is appropriate and they just give me a fuck off foreigner look. Same thing when trying to greet your neighbors in the elevator or on the stairs of your building.
Older people are grumpy and perhaps a bit skeptical of foreigners. At least amongst the trendy young people that I spent most of my time with there was no perceivable anti-American sentiment despite our relatively recent bombing of the country during the Kosovo conflict.


This lovely music video captures a day in the life of the average young Serbian girl you are going to be gaming.
Super classy, da?
Serbians are relatively religious for being Europeans. I remember the Serbian girl who led the walking tour stopping at an cathedral and declaring basically that the Orthodox church was the truth, the way and the life here - a stark contrast to the flimsy belief systems that most European nations subscribe to.
Serbians are pretty good at making babies, while daygaming you'll be dodging plenty of mothers pushing their baby carriages down the boulevard and little whippersnappers running around. Thankfully, young single mothers are pretty rare in Serbia, I haven't meet any.
Turbo Folk is like the reggaeton of Serbia. Young Serbians pretend to hate it until they've had 11 shots of Rakia. Check it out... 

The Language

Not really worth learning as most of the people you will want to talk to speak English quiet well. A couple of useful phrases worth learning anyway...
Opa - My favorite word, it's an expression for something novel or fun.
Drago Minye - Nice to meet you.
Koala (Yes, like a koala bear) - Thanks.

Transportation

Taxis are very cheap, just make sure to negotiate the rate before getting in the cab or just use the Taxify app.

The coffee is quiet bad. Damn you Medellín for spoiling me! Only Uzitak Coffee came close to meeting my lofty standards for the dark nectar. I guess I'll stick to black tea and smart drugs.